


There's a Desert in My Blood and a Storm in Your Eyes

by frapandfurious



Series: I Will Share Your Road [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Emotionally Abusive Parent, Established Relationship, Family Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Intimacy, Like seriously Brendol is shitty af, M/M, Minor Violence, References to Attempted Kidnapping, Revenge, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-15 18:03:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12326073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious
Summary: Hux and Kylo have been on the road together for over a year. They're free and they're in love.Until a ghost from Hux's past finally catches up with them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, the "epilogue" for I Guess It Must Be Wanderlust turned into its own story. I've tried to include plenty of the headcanons I had for them here. :)
> 
> Title from [One Foot](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05v4nfUmBYI) by Walk the Moon which just came out and immediately gave me feels for this AU.

_Oh, our heart's a mess  
But it's our only defense to brave the wilderness_

 

Chapter 1

They parked at an open area overlooking a ravine, tree-covered hills split by a winding river, and spread out blankets to sit on. The trunk was open, doubling as a table for Hux to mold burger patties while Kylo set up their little portable grill.

Hux pulled their recently purchased six-pack out of the back seat and popped open two bottles, one of which he set beside Kylo. He took a swig of his own drink and stepped back to enjoy the sight that was Kylo grilling shirtless, his hair pulled back into a loose bun at the crown of his head. It was only mid-April, but the day was summer-warm.

They’d been together for over a year and a half now. They’d been so many places, tried so many things. Hux thought he’d spend forever in that stuffy college town, wearing pressed clothes and trying to stand tall to hide the fear within him that he was wasting his life.

Now, his arms and cheeks were clustered with freckles from so much time spent out in the sun. His hair, unrestrained by gel, fell soft and loose over his forehead and ears. It turned out that Kylo was an excellent cook, and while Hux had remained slender, there was now a layer of softness to his body that hadn’t been there before.

He was wearing shorts and a tank top that was far too big and perfectly comfortable, the open collar low enough to expose the top of his chest. In their second week together he’d bought some clothes for himself, but spent more time in Kylo’s clothes than his own, and soon _Kylo_ had needed to buy more, because his shirts kept disappearing from his bag and reappearing on his boyfriend.

After minutes of single-minded focus on his grilling, Kylo finally glanced up and noticed Hux staring at him. He gave him a little smile and looked back at the grill.

“You should be enjoying the view,” he muttered. They’d researched this park and added it to their stop list.

“I am,” Hux replied with a smirk.

Kylo huffed and shook his head. The apples of his cheeks and the tips of his ears were flushed. He never understood why Hux liked looking at him so much.

Hux set his beer down and walked slowly over to Kylo. He pretended to be more interested in how the food was coming along, right up until he reached him and slid his hands around Kylo’s waist.

Kylo jumped and gasped. “Fuck, your hands are cold!”

“Well, I _was_ just holding a beer.”

“That’s not why and you know it. They’re always cold.” To emphasize his point, Kylo briefly set down the spatula and reached down to cup Hux’s cool hands in his bigger, warmer ones. Hux tried to sneakily twine their fingers together, but Kylo released him and picked up the spatula again.

“Hmph. Fine.”

But Hux was far from discouraged. Rather than move away, he remained behind Kylo, body hovering mere inches from his. Starting by Kylo’s neck and shoulders he began one by one kissing each of the moles scattered across his lover’s muscled back.

Kylo tensed up, clearly trying to focus on what he was doing and resist reacting to the soft brushes of warm lips. But he couldn’t help the involuntary little shudders whenever Hux got his mouth on a particularly sensitive spot.

“I’m going to – _ah_ ” he cut off with a gasp as Hux’s fingertips grazed down his sides. “I’m g-going to burn these if you keep this up…”

“Hmm. There’s plenty of ground beef left. We’ll make more.”

“Weren’t _you_ the one who wanted cheeseburgers for dinner?” Kylo asked breathlessly.

It was true. After years of enforced healthy eating, Hux went nuts eating things he hadn’t had since he was a child, or had never tried. Unfortunately, that meant he discovered more than a few things that upset his stomach, not to mention a couple of allergies. Greasy food made him sick, but the burgers he and Kylo made together never did.

Hux pressed his forehead to Kylo’s back and laughed. “I guess I was.” He gripped Kylo’s sides and squeezed softly.

Suddenly Kylo went very still. There was a soft _click_ as he set the spatula down, and then…

Then he spun, startling Hux back just far enough for Kylo to duck down and wrap an arm around his thighs, hoisting him up over one shoulder.

Hux yelped and then burst out laughing. His legs squirmed ineffectually, but the way he was clinging to Kylo made it clear he did not wish to be put down.

Kylo smirked. “There. Now stay put while I finish what I started.”

He turned back to the grill, still holding Hux slung over his shoulder like a sack of flour, and with his free hand grabbed the spatula and flipped the burgers one more time to check that they were done.

Hux conceded defeat, knowing Kylo wouldn’t keep him there long anyway. He was at the perfect angle to give Kylo’s ass a squeeze, but he resisted only to keep from accidentally making Kylo burn himself.

“There,” Kylo said as he plated the burgers. “Done.”

He stepped back and gently slid Hux back down to the ground. Once they were eye to eye again he pressed a peck to the tip of Hux’s nose. Hux playfully pushed his face away but didn’t pull away from the hand still firmly planted on his waist.

They prepared their burgers, Hux’s stacked high with lettuce and tomatoes and onions and three different condiments, while Kylo stuck to just ketchup.

Then Kylo disappeared for a moment. Hux heard a rustling from the back seat of the car and peeked around curiously. Kylo was pulling something out of a plastic grocery bag. When he caught Hux looking he held a hand up.

“Don’t look for a sec.”

Hux raised an eyebrow but complied, turning to pile some potato chips onto his plate. He heard more rustling, the car door shut, and then Kylo moving around over their blankets.

“Okay,” Kylo finally said.

Hux turned slowly, plate in hand.

At the center of the blanket sat a small battery powered candle, its dim glow barely visible as it was still light out. Just beside it was a tall, clear vase filled with water; sticking out of it was a bouquet. Red carnations and white daisies.

Beside those sat a plastic container containing a whole apple pie.

Next to the display kneeled Kylo, looking up with a crooked smile on his face. He was still shirtless as well as barefoot, just a pair of jeans with holes in the knees. He’d somehow gotten a bit of grease streaked across one cheek. Strands of his dark hair had slipped loose of the bun and fell across his face and neck. Low on his neck, faded marks lingered from the night before when Hux had been _very_ eager with his mouth.

And oh, how Hux loved him. At moments like these he felt himself fall in love all over again, as he had a thousand times in a thousand ways in their time together.

Hux nearly dropped his plate in his rush to set it down so that his hands were free as he kneeled and cupped Kylo’s face. He pressed a bruising kiss to his soft, smiling lips and buried his fingers into his hair so fiercely that nearly all of it fell out of the loose hair tie.

“What’s the occasion?” he asked when he pulled back.

Kylo had to take a moment to catch his breath before he answered, “I still owe you a dinner date.”

Hux grinned at the reminder.

A few weeks ago, they tried to go to a nice restaurant together. They’d saved up and done research and found somewhere that sounded good to both of them.

Within the first minute, they both felt horribly out of place.

Hux had been to his share of fancy dinners with his father and his family, and the stuffy atmosphere immediately brought back unpleasant memories of forced conversation and plastered-on smiles.

Kylo couldn’t remember ever setting foot in somewhere so nice in his life. He’d gotten a button-up shirt just for the occasion, the buttons and fabric straining across his broad chest and shoulders, and had tried to tame his hair into something passable. He was so nervous he nearly knocked over a server carrying a tray of wine glasses, and realized too late that he was still wearing sneakers.

Within the first five minutes, they both wanted to leave. But neither could justify leaving without at least having _something_ , after all their troubles, so they split a dessert and got out as fast as they could.

They spent the remaining money they’d set aside on seeing a movie and buying some new clothes. And then they’d found this place online and decided to go there next and have a picnic.

This was more their style.

“It’s perfect,” Hux told him, and kissed him again, just because he could.

They sat side by side on the blanket and ate together in silence. That was one thing established early on which had never changed: they enjoyed sharing silence together. They were content with standing or sitting or lying somewhere beautiful and breathing in the moment. Just _being_ together.

Kylo was about to start cutting into the pie when a chime sounded from Hux’s phone, still sitting in the open trunk where he’d tossed it earlier. Their eyes met and Hux handed the plates to Kylo so he could stand and go get it.

Kylo was so focused on cutting the pieces and setting them on plates that he didn’t see the way Hux froze the moment he saw the notification. But he didn’t miss how pale and shaken he suddenly was when he lowered himself back down onto the blanket, and he _definitely_ couldn’t miss how his hand grabbed for Kylo’s while the other held the phone, staring at it like it was haunted.

He shoved the plates aside and turned to Hux, gripping his hand tightly.

“What is it, babe?”

“A text…”

“From who?”

Hux met Kylo’s concerned gaze, his eyes wide.

“My father.”

*

A week later, they were at a county fair. It wasn’t in their plan for the week, but the games were cheap, the food was something different, and the crowd made for good people watching.

Kylo played the strongman game and won a prize; Hux hit every bullseye at the sharpshooter game. They handed their prizes off to a pair of screaming twin boys, not out of benevolence towards their frazzled mother, but to spare their own eardrums.

They sat on a picnic bench overlooking a pond, eating corndogs and funnel cake. Kylo had one arm slung across Hux’s shoulders. They almost didn’t hear the quiet chime of Hux’s phone over the noise of the fair going on behind them. Almost.

Hux frowned and pulled it out of his pocket. His face fell when he saw the screen.

“Is it him again?” Kylo asked with a scowl.

“Yes.”

“The fuck does he want?”

The previous text had just been the elder Hux trying to confirm it was in fact his son he was texting. Hux never answered it, and hoped that was that.

“He…wants to talk to me.”

“Oh _now_ he wants to talk to you?”

“I know,” Hux replied, still staring at the screen with a distant look. Kylo’s face softened.

“Babe…he doesn’t deserve to talk to you. It’s too late. He fucked up.”

Hux nodded and forced himself to put the phone back into his pocket. The noise of the fair felt distant, like it was happening far away. He’d locked away all thoughts and memories of his past life as best he could and barreled into this absurd new life with Kylo. But now it was all coming back, everything he’d forgotten, everything he left behind. Suddenly here and now didn’t feel quite real.

Feeling suddenly adrift, he scooted closer to Kylo on the bench, his half-finished food set aside and forgotten.

Without fail, Kylo sensed his distress. He tightened his arm around Hux’s shoulders kissed him, sugar lingering on his lips from the funnel cake.

“He can’t get you,” he reassured quietly, rubbing his hand up and down Hux’s arm. “He has no idea where we are. You’re safe.”

And Hux didn’t know how to voice what was going through his head in his moment, so he didn’t try. He clenched his jaw and leaned into Kylo and let him distract him with soothing words and powdered sugar kisses.


	2. Chapter 2

They made their way out to a wooded, mountainous area in the northwest. They liked the mountains; they were quiet, there was plenty to do and when it was still this early in the season a fully furnished cabin for a week was a steal. The best part, aside from the privacy, was the little kitchen where Kylo could cook their meals.

They spent evenings cuddling while watching movies, days walking the trails or down by the lake. When they needed time to themselves one would stay at the cabin while the other went out for a bit, but they rarely stayed apart for long.

Kylo was making pasta and garlic bread for dinner while Hux took a walk. Hux returned after nearly an hour, quiet and sullen as he slipped his shoes off inside the door.

“Dinner is ready!” He barely noticed Kylo call from the kitchen.

A pause.

“You there? I swear I heard the door…” Kylo poked his head out from the other room. As soon as his eyes landed on Hux, he tossed aside his oven mitts and hurried over.

“What’s wrong, babe? You okay?”

“I…yes…no…I don’t know…”

Kylo’s hands gripped his shoulders lightly. “Did something happen?”

Hux took a deep breath.

“My father called.”

“He _called_?”

“Yes.” Hux’s gaze was focused somewhere at the center of Kylo’s chest.

“Did he leave a voicemail?”

“No…”

“Well, that’s good, he – “

“I answered.”

Kylo’s mouth snapped shut. He pulled his hands away.

“Why?”

Hux looked up at him sharply.

“Why does it matter why? I wanted to know what he had to say,” he snapped.

Kylo stepped back, his posture defensive.

“I didn’t mean…I just thought you didn’t want to talk to him.”

The silence between them was thick. Kylo suddenly remembered he had something in the oven and hurried away to turn it off. When he returned he leaned in the kitchen doorway, arms folded, watching Hux warily.

“So what did he want?” he asked. “Or aren’t you going to tell me.”

“He wants to meet up. To talk in person. He…wants to see me.”

Kylo folded his arms tighter, his jaw working. Already something was simmering beneath the surface.

“And you told him no. Right?”

“I told him yes. A week from today.”

“ _What?_ ” Kylo exploded, arms falling to his sides with his fists clenched.

Hux stood his ground. “What is your _problem?_ ”

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that you didn’t think to ask me first?”

“I didn’t realize I needed your permission!” Hux snapped.

“And I thought we were in this together!”

“We are!”

“Then why are you going back to him?!” Kylo swung his arm out, slamming his fist hard against the wood-paneled wall. And then there was silence, filled only by his heavy breaths.

“Who said anything about going back to him?” Hux asked coldly. His gaze darted to Kylo’s fist, still hovering by the wall.

He wasn’t afraid. Kylo wouldn’t hurt him, but he would hurt himself without a second thought, and anything inanimate within reach that might be unlucky enough to be in his path. His outbursts were rare; it took a lot to get him to that point. But when they did happen, they were explosive.

“Why else would he want to see you, unless it’s to take you back?”

“ _Take me back?_ ” Hux spat. “I’m not _his_ to take, or _yours_ to give for that matter!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Kylo growled, bringing his hand up to push his wild hair back out of his face.

Now Hux could see redness on the back of his hand, sure to bloom into a bruise. He distantly tried to remember if they stocked up on first aid supplies on their last stop.

Kylo was taking slow breaths, eyes closed. When he opened them and spoke again, he was clearly making an effort to remain calm.

“I just mean…it sounds like he wants you to come back and…if that’s true of course I won’t stop you, and then you’ll…leave…”

He was mumbling, but _trying_ to communicate, like they’d talked about. But Hux’s mind had turned to static.

_I won’t stop you._

Pain gripped him tight and sharp and for a moment he couldn’t breathe. He folded his arms and backed away, his face going blank.

“I think you should go,” he managed quietly.

His eyes met Kylo’s, now more shocked than angry, immediately catching on to Hux’s sudden change in demeanor. Somewhere inside Hux hoped he knew he just meant _go for now_ and not _for good_ but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Kylo slumped, looking torn. He glanced between the front door and the kitchen, where their food was growing cold, and then to Hux again.

“What about dinner?” he asked lamely.

“I’m not hungry.”

“…okay. Okay.” Kylo quickly put on his jacket and sneakers. He paused by the door. “Should I leave you the keys, or - ?”

“I don’t care.”

The keys jingled as Kylo scooped them from the hook by the door. The door clicked open and slammed shut. The car revved up outside, followed by the muffled sound of the radio and then gravel crackling under tires as it pulled away.

Hux didn’t break. He felt sucked dry, a husk of a man. Moving on autopilot, he walked into the kitchen and stared at their waiting dinner. He tried to eat a little, then gave up and put it in containers in the fridge. He cleaned up, did the dishes, made tea.

When that was done, needing more to occupy him, he threw a load of wash into the machine in the little room just off the kitchen. His and Kylo’s clothes together in one big bundle.

The sun went down.

Hux changed into pajamas – his own clothes, not Kylo’s for once.

And he waited, busying himself with meticulously folding the clean laundry, expecting Kylo’s return at any moment. He wasn’t sure if he hoped for or dreaded it.

But Kylo didn’t return by the time he was done with their laundry, so he inventoried their toiletries and medicine supply and made a shopping list. He did the same with the items in the fridge and cabinets.

He realized too late that he’d left his tea steeping, but tried it anyway and grimaced immediately. Too strong, and now cold. He stared at the mug and considered making more. Instead he dumped the cold tea and left the mug in the sink to deal with tomorrow.

By the time he felt drowsy enough to try to sleep, he was convinced Kylo wouldn’t return that night. Deep down he knew he needed him to, whatever it meant.

Suddenly the warm, cozy cabin felt too dark, too empty, too far from the rest of the world. The bed was too large, and even with a sheet, a blanket and a puffy comforter Hux couldn’t seem to get warm. He tossed and turned and finally got up to turn up the heat and put on socks. The room grew toasty but still he couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t slept without Kylo beside him in months, not since their last big fight.

Finally he heard the crunch of gravel outside. Relief, fear, a fresh wave of frustration all washed over him at once. The rumbling car shut off, the car door opened and shut, followed by the cabin door opening and shutting more quietly. Keys dropped back onto the hook, shoes kicked off haphazardly, a jacket pulled off and tossed onto the couch.

Floor boards creaked as Kylo moved around the cabin, first to the kitchen, inspecting. The fridge door opened and then shut but no sound of plates or silverware or a microwave followed. Either Kylo ate while he was gone, or he hadn’t had anything since lunch.

Hux shut his eyes when he heard Kylo approach the room. He could feel him hovering in the doorway, looming and uncertain. He was calm now; Hux could tell from his breathing.

He moved into the room, to the chair where Hux had piled the neatly folded laundry. He huffed a breathy laugh, and the sound made Hux tingle with relief in spite of himself.

Fabric rustled as Kylo found something of his in the pile and changed into it. His footsteps faded away and Hux could just barely make out the sounds of him in the bathroom. When he cracked his eyes open just a little he could see the glow of the light from the hall.

Then the light clicked off and Hux closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.

Kylo’s quiet footsteps stopped by the edge of the bed. He hovered, hesitant. Maybe he was considering whether he should sleep there or the couch.

And…Hux was still hurt, something Kylo had said eating away at him and he couldn’t quite let it go. But now that they’d both cooled down, he could see how things had gotten heated too fast and neither of them had had a chance to explain themselves. He loved Kylo too much not to try, not to give him the benefit of the doubt. If Kylo didn’t end up sleeping here, Hux would follow him out to the couch and squeeze onto it with him until they fell asleep, or they talked.

Then, the mattress creaked as Kylo sat carefully at the edge of the bed and sighed.

When no more sounds followed, Hux dared a peek over the edge of the covers.

Kylo’s broad back was to Hux, leaning forward, shoulders hunched, head bowed. He sighed again, and it turned into a big yawn. He rubbed at his eyes.

Hux propped himself up on one elbow, and Kylo tensed up at the movement, but he didn’t leave. Hux reached a hand out and placed it gently on Kylo’s back. When Kylo didn’t move or speak, he began to rub lightly, up and down.

Kylo turned his head to glance at Hux out of the corner of his eye. When he saw that Hux wasn’t angry, he turned a little more, the curtain of his hair obscuring half his face.

Hux tugged on his wrist.

_Come to bed. Please…_

Kylo’s lips parted and he blinked rapidly. Relief. He thought Hux might turn him away.

He climbed under the covers. He was cold, and their usual positions switched for a moment as Kylo nestled up against Hux’s chest almost shyly. Hux rubbed his hands all over him to warm him up. He pressed his face into Kylo’s cold, messy hair. He smelled like the woods.

Sufficiently warmed, Kylo pulled back. Moonlight illuminated the room and in the glow Hux could easily make out the deep pools of Kylo’s eyes, sad and weary.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo whispered.

“Me too,” Hux replied. He closed his eyes when Kylo’s hand smoothed his hair back and cupped his face. He sighed. His lip trembled.

“Tell me?” Kylo prompted gently. Hux wrapped his arms around himself. He hated feeling so exposed, so raw. He hated when his emotions got the better of him.

“My mother didn’t fight for me either,” he blurted out quietly into the darkness. He flinched. He hadn’t meant to start like that, but it was all he could think about.

Beside him, Kylo was patiently silent. Hux kept his eyes shut, curled in on himself, unable to look at whatever crossed Kylo’s expression.

“What?” Kylo only sounded confused.

Hux forced the words out before he could overthink it. His voice shook.

“When father got custody of me, she didn’t try to stop him. She didn’t fight it, not that I ever knew of. I know that she didn’t really have the means, but…it was like she didn’t even try. And then when – when you happened, my father didn’t lift a finger. You remember, you were there. _He_ didn’t even try.”

He exhaled slowly through his nose. His fears were like claws tearing at his insides, trying to get out; he felt close to bursting. And it hurt, it _hurt_.

Kylo’s hand had gone still on his face, but it quickly began stroking, petting, steady, soothing movements that gave him the strength to continue.

“And if you… _won’t stop me_ from going…if even _you_ don’t…don’t try… _am I just supposed to get passed around forever until someone fucking_ _wants me_ …”

The words spilled out hoarsely, punctuated with a choked sob. He wasn’t crying; his eyes were dry. But he broke all the same, his breaths shaky as he brought his hands up to cover his face. _Weak. Pathetic_.

“ _Fuck_ – “ the breath rushed out of Kylo, warm against Hux’s forehead. “I didn’t – oh, fuck, babe, that’s what you thought I meant?”

Kylo put an arm around Hux and tugged at him insistently, urging him closer.

That’s all it took for Hux to surge forward and bury his face into the crook of Kylo’s neck, hiding between him and the pillow. He pressed in as close as he could, wishing he could just disappear into him and stay forever.

Strong arms closed around him. He shuddered and gave another dry sob, feeling the pain finally easing out with every breath, because now Kylo was there to help carry it.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” Kylo was saying, over and over, more to himself than to Hux. Then, “ _Listen_. Please believe me. All I meant was that I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. If you really wanted to go back, how would me stopping you be any better than taking you in the first place?”

“I don’t _want_ to go with him!” Hux rasped.

“I know, shh, I know, I get it now.” Kylo’s legs tangled with Hux’s, his warm body practically enveloping him, big hands smoothing up and down Hux’s back. “I’m sorry. I thought that was why you wanted to meet with him. I’m still…not sure I understand that, to be honest…”

“It’s just that maybe we can still…salvage something? If he still cares, even a little, I just need to know.” He whispered it into Kylo’s neck like a secret. “If it was your family, wouldn’t you want to know?”

“I don’t know,” Kylo admitted. “Probably…probably, yeah.”  He shifted, adjusting them more comfortably. They were both quiet for a while.

“Hux,” Kylo’s low, drowsy voice broke the silence. “Of course I’ll fight for you. Of course I want you. If you don’t want to go, he can’t fucking have you. If he tries I’ll…I’ll make him regret it.”

It was an empty threat, but the sentiment, the possessive grip of Kylo’s hands, his warmth and smell all around, finally made the knot in Hux’s chest loosen and his shudders stop.

“Yeah?”

“ _Yeah_.”

At the first press of warm lips to his forehead Hux couldn’t help the soft, grateful sound he made. Kylo hummed and continued moving over his face with slow, sleepy kisses.

“I love you, pumpkin,” he whispered against Hux’s cheek, and Hux flushed at the nickname. Endearments from Kylo were far from rare, but he saved the sappier ones for special moments.

“I love you too,” Hux replied, eyes drooping shut. A kiss brushed the bridge of his nose. “No alarm?” He asked, remembering for no particular reason that he hadn’t noticed Kylo set one.

“No alarm.”

“What about pancakes?”

“I don’t care if we wake up at two in the afternoon, you’re getting pancakes, babe.”

“With – _mmm_ – with chocolate chips?” Kylo was practically draped over him, solid and so pleasantly warm. Tender kisses across his cheek and jaw.

“And whipped cream.”

Hux didn’t have a chance to voice his approval; he was already fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes/warnings: this chapter includes a parent being...a very shitty parent/emotionally abusive/neglectful towards their child, I just wanted to toss a warning in here in addition to in the tags in case the scenario might be upsetting to some.

A week later, they crossed the border into Colorado. Hux’s father was doing business in Denver, and had agreed to meet them in a town not far from the city.

The plan was to meet Hux’s father that evening, in the parking lot of a mall that had been closed and abandoned for over a year. The location was Brendol’s idea, and Kylo was immediately suspicious of it. He’d asked if they could pick somewhere more public, but Hux insisted that if things escalated he didn’t want an audience.

Hux was anxious all week, restless and quiet. Kylo was on edge too, but was clearly trying to act normal for Hux’s sake.

They got a room at a motel not unlike the countless others they’d stayed in. By the time they checked in, just before dinner, Hux was a bundle of nerves. Kylo made him lie down while he brought in their things and prepared food. He made Hux at least try to eat; Hux barely had a thing all day, and he could feel his stomach protesting, but he couldn’t manage more than some sliced up fruit and a piece of bread with jelly.

With nothing left to do but kill time, Kylo sat in the middle of the bed, wrapped the comforter around Hux before bundling him into his arms, and put on Jeopardy so they could guess at the answers together. It almost helped.

Kylo drove them to the lot. They arrived at 7:00 sharp, like promised.

It had rained all day. By the time they arrived it had stopped, but the heavy gray clouds lingered like it could start again at any minute. The air smelled like wet leaves and mulch.

Kylo kept one hand on Hux’s leg the whole drive.

“We’ll hear what he has to say, and then…whatever you want.”

“What if he wants to…I don’t know, reconnect or something.”

Kylo’s lips pursed. He clearly didn’t like that idea, but he didn’t say as much. “Then, if that’s what you also want, you can try. We could drive to meet up with him every now and then. Or whatever.”

“And if I don’t want that?”

“Then we drive out of here so fast he won’t know what happened.” He squeezed Hux’s leg.

They pulled into the empty lot. Finding Hux’s father was easy enough: a sleek black car waited in a spot near the far end.

But what surprised them both was the presence of two other cars flanking it, also black, though not as nice.

Kylo slowed as they approached. “Did he say he’d be with anyone?” he mumbled, leaning forward over the wheel to get a better look.

“No,” Hux replied. The uneasiness in the pit of his stomach grew. Something was off, but he couldn’t place what. He told himself it was just his own nerves making him paranoid.

Still, he squeezed Kylo’s hand.

They parked a few spaces away and Kylo stopped the car but left the keys in the ignition, a quick getaway.

“Ready, babe?”

Hux’s throat felt dry; he couldn’t speak so he only nodded.

Kylo pressed a firm kiss to his cheek.

“Everything will be fine.”

He didn’t sound convinced.

They got out of the car. It was damp and cold. Hux immediately wished they were back in their room, or driving with the heat up and the music low. He didn’t have a good feeling about this at all, but it was too late to go back now.

The door to the nicer car opened and out stepped a man who was pushing sixty. He wore an impeccably pressed suit, his hair was neatly combed and clearly dyed, and he had a face that looked subtly smug at all times, like it had gotten stuck that way. In person he was much less imposing than he looked on the company website.

Hux stood facing him, keeping his distance. Kylo was just behind him, the weight of his solid presence giving Hux strength. From the sound he made at the sight of Hux’s father, he was unimpressed. It almost made Hux smile.

Brendol Hux looked his son over, spared a half glance to Kylo, then back to Hux.

He made a motion with one hand and the doors to the other cars opened. Two men emerged from each and stood at the ready next to the cars. They were wearing what looked to be police officers’ uniforms.

Hux’s heart dropped into his stomach. Behind him, Kylo was tense, coiled like he was ready to bolt at any moment. Hux felt his gaze on him and it was all he could do not to whirl around and reassure him that he didn’t know they would be here, that he thought it would only be his father, that he never would have agreed to this if he’d known Brendol would involve the police. But he couldn’t, so he just gave Kylo a desperate glance over his shoulder and hoped it said enough.

“Armitage,” the elder Hux greeted with false warmth, arms opening for a moment before falling back to his sides.

“Sir.”

“Glad to see you’re…alive. If not well.”

Hux frowned. “What does that mean? I’m fine.”

Brendol scoffed. “You’re a mess. I almost didn’t recognize you.”

Hux hadn’t considered until now how much he’d changed. All the things he thought were improvements – color to his cheeks, his hair loose, his body healthy, his mind at ease – simply looked to Brendol like he’d let himself go.

In the time that had passed since he last saw his father, he’d forgotten a lot of things. He _let_ himself forget them, glad to be rid of them. This was one: his blatant lack of care for anyone’s wellbeing, for anything that wasn’t success or power.

This was a mistake. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He swayed backwards and felt Kylo’s hand settle firmly on the small of his back. He took a steadying breath.

“What do you want?” He asked. “Why are you here?”

Brendol took a step forward, his face hardening.

“This has gone on long enough, Armitage,” he said sternly. “It was bad enough I had to replace you with one of those incompetent interns, but now people are starting to ask questions. For a while I told them you were working overseas, but when you weren’t home for two Christmases in a row…” He shook his head. “You’re coming back. That’s an order.”

Kylo’s breathing had picked up; he was angry, a bull ready to charge. His fingers clutched the back of Hux’s shirt, grounding himself.

“Or what?” Hux snapped. He was shaking; he’d never spoken this way to his father before. “You’ll have them arrest me?” he motioned to the cops.

“If I have to,” Brendol snapped back. “But surely you’re ready to be done with whatever the hell it is you’ve been doing. Running around with this, this…” he seemed to really notice Kylo for the first time since they arrived. “Who the hell is this anyway?”

Hux pressed back against Kylo, both defensively and to keep him at bay. Brendol wasn’t a threat, but the four no doubt armed officers were another matter. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going back.”

“Like hell you aren’t!”

“If you wanted me there so badly you shouldn’t have let me get fucking _kidnapped!_ ” Hux shouted.

Brendol didn’t even blink. He looked at Hux the way he might look at a stain on his shirt. When he spoke again, his voice was stern and dangerous.

“Listen here, boy, you – “

Suddenly, the warmth disappeared from behind Hux as Kylo moved to stand in front of him. His fists were clenched, his chest heaving.

“ _You_ listen you old fuck,” he growled, “he said _no_.”

“Stay out of this,” Brendol snapped.

“Fucking make me!”

“Kylo, no,” Hux hissed.

Brendol smirked. “Gladly.” He motioned and the officers moved, closing in on Kylo and Hux.

“Just the big one,” Brendol instructed. “I’ll deal with _my son_ myself.”

Two officers came forward and grabbed Kylo’s arms. Immediately he struggled, trying to pull away. Hux lunged forward and grabbed at the back of his shirt.

“You can’t do this! He didn’t do anything!”

“Someone who looks like _that_ has definitely done something,” Brendol said with a sneer.

The two cops tried to pull Kylo to one of the cars, but he was thrashing, fighting their grip. The other two moved forward to help and for a moment Hux was terrified they were going to pull out their guns. Instead, one came up behind Kylo and shoved him chest-first against the car so hard Hux could hear the wind get knocked out of him. The forth grabbed his wrists and cuffed him. Even then, Kylo fought, eyes red-rimmed and wild. It took all four men to shove him into the back seat.

Just before the door closed, Kylo looked right at Hux, tears slipping down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” he said through gritted teeth, “Hux, I’m _sorry_ …” and then the door slammed, and three of the officers were getting into the cars while the fourth lingered, facing Brendol.

“Should one of us stay, sir?”

Brendol waved him away. “No need. I have a feeling that it will take all four of you to subdue that one. And I’m sure in time my son will _see reason_.” He directed the last words at Hux.

The man nodded. The final car door slammed. Both cars drove away, and with them, Kylo.

And then it was only him and his father.

The empty lot was so silent, Hux’s panted breaths so loud. He was shaking. All he could picture was Kylo’s panicked face, all he could think about was him being taken to the station, the police looking him up and contacting his family. And it would be all Hux’s fault.

He felt numb and so, so cold.

His father was speaking but his words meant nothing, not anymore.

“…Armitage? Are you listening to me? You get in this car right now, and we’ll pretend none of this happened.”

Hux looked up at him, thoughts fuzzy. Only one thing was clear.

“Where did they take him?” he asked, voice steady in spite of how he trembled.

“What?”

“Where did they take him?” he demanded, glaring fiercely at Brendol. His hands balled into fists, nails digging into his palms.

“It doesn’t matter. He’s gone, and you’re coming with me.”

“There…there has to be a station nearby,” Hux felt around his pockets for his phone and pulled it out to open his Maps app.

Brendol snorted.

“There might be, but that won’t do you any good.”

Hux looked up sharply. “What does that mean?” Should he be looking for a jail? Would they really go that far?

“Those men aren’t police,” Brendol said, and Hux’s hands froze in their typing, a cold feeling settling over him that had nothing to do with the weather.

“What?” he whispered.

“I hired them. In case you put up a fight, but it looks as though their services are needed elsewhere.”

 _It will take all four of you to subdue that one_.

Hux thought he was going to be sick.

“ _Where did they take him?”_ he screamed, voice echoing across the empty lot.

Brendol only sneered.

“Fuck this.” Hux backed away. “And _fuck you_. You stay away from us!”

He turned and bolted to the car, grateful for Kylo’s foresight at leaving the key in. Before Brendol even had a chance to react, he was starting the car up and putting it into drive. He sped off in the direction the two cars had gone. He didn’t look back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I'm terrible and didn't remember to updated the tags before posting this chapter >__< Please check them out just to be safe.
> 
> Tags/warnings etc: aftermath/brief descriptions of violence, description of blood and injuries. No violence takes place between the two of them, only from 3rd parties, but still.

Not even two minutes down the road, he knew how slim his chances of finding Kylo were. He couldn’t call him; Kylo’s pay-as-you-go phone sat in the cup holder beside him. All he could do was drive around town and hope.

Hux fiddled with the rearview mirror, turned on the headlights, turned off the radio. The warm air was going; Kylo had turned it up, even though it made him too hot, because Hux was cold.

He always put Hux first.

Hux slammed his fist against the inside of the door with a strangled yell of frustration. Of course it had been too good to be true. He’d been so stupid, so blind, wanting his father’s love and approval even now. Wanting it so much he’d put them both at risk.

Fighting back angry tears, he took a breath and pulled himself together. It was starting to get dark. He’d find Kylo if it took all night.

A fine mist started, not quite rain, but enough to necessitate using the wiper blades. Hux drove slowly, looking every which way for any sign of the four men, their two cars, or Kylo.

Angry drivers honked at him but he just waved at them to pass him. Puddles sloshed under the tires. Street lamps came on, though there was still enough light to see without them.

He drove down main streets and side streets, past the lots of closed stores, out to the edge of town where neighborhoods started before turning and heading back, afraid to go too far. They wouldn’t have gone far. Right?

It was on his second trip down a street full of bars and restaurants that he noticed something in the narrow lane between two buildings. A shape, a lump on the ground he might have passed off as nothing, except…

He slowed the car and pulled as close to the curb as he could, rolling down the window, leaning across the passenger side and squinting in the dimming gray light.

The dark lump had a hand, pale fingers standing out against the pavement. Hux slammed on the brakes and put the car in park. His heart pounded in his chest and his legs nearly gave out on him as he stumbled out of the car and into the alleyway.

Once he hit the sidewalk he moved more cautiously; it could be a homeless person, a passed out drunk, someone who’d been in a fight. Water from the earlier rain collected in dips in the concrete, and in the puddle the figure’s face lay in, Hux could see a trickle of red.

As he drew closer, more details came into view: broad shoulders, a tangled mop of dark hair with a large ear poking through, a worn-soft t-shirt.

It was him. Dumped here like garbage.

Hux dropped to his knees beside Kylo. His hands hovered over his crumpled body, unsure what to do first.

 _Is he breathing?_ The possibility that he wasn’t was too much to consider. But to his relief, Kylo’s torso rose and fell shakily.

He was curled on his side, hair obscuring most of his face. Hux reached down and carefully cupped a hand around his cheek to lift his face from the water and get a better look. With the other hand he pushed back Kylo’s damp hair.

He gasped.

Kylo’s face was battered, a massive bruise on one side, eye swollen, blood dripping from his nose and his split bottom lip. As Hux cradled his head his mouth fell open with a low groan.

Hux was trembling so hard he nearly dropped him. He didn’t know whether he wanted to scream or cry or both.

He did neither. Falling apart now would do no good, and Kylo needed him.

“Kylo,” he whispered, petting his hair. “Darling, love…” Where Kylo gave endearments abundantly, Hux was sparing with them, preferring physical affection. He found himself regretting every time he’d held back saying something sweet out of pride or embarrassment.

Another groan. A flutter of lashes. Slowly, Kylo’s eyes opened, the swollen one only partway.

Suddenly he flinched and curled in on himself, one arm coming up to cover his face. His slow breaths became sharp and panicked.

“It’s me!” Hux said quickly. “It’s me, shh, just me…” He muttered reassurances until slowly Kylo uncurled, peering up at Hux with watery eyes. Hux shifted so he could rest Kylo’s head in his lap rather than back on the cold hard ground.

Kylo’s mouth opened and closed as he tried to speak. Hux hushed him and kept stroking his hair, at a loss for how to even begin to make this right.

“You’re okay?” Kylo finally managed, voice hoarse.

“I’m _fine_.” Hux’s voice cracked. He lifted Kylo’s hand – the knuckles scraped, he’d tried to fight back – and kissed the back of it.

“Thought…m’be he took you…”

“No. No, he…he wanted to but I took the car and got the fuck out of there.”

Kylo sighed and closed his eyes. “Good…”

“ _They hurt you_ ,” Hux hissed, blinking back tears. A stupid, obvious statement.

“M’fine.”

“No you aren’t! Don’t…don’t close your eyes, you can’t stay here. I have to get you to the hotel. Come on, sit up for me.”

Kylo opened his eyes and let Hux prop him into a sitting position, making a sharp intake of breath at the movement. That alone seemed to wear him out, and he sagged against Hux’s shoulder. Hux rewarded him with soft kisses to any part of his face and neck that wasn’t bruised or bleeding.

Anything, anything to make him feel better.

Hux kissed his temple. “This is all my fault,” he whispered.

“’s not.” Kylo blinked up at him. There was something dull and distant about his gaze that gave Hux chills. “’s mine…”

No, _no_.

“No, it’s not, _don’t say that_.” Hux squeezed him, and then loosened his grip when Kylo winced, apologies tumbling from his mouth.

The mist grew into a light drizzle. Hux pressed one more firm kiss to Kylo’s forehead and then looked him in the eye.

“You need to stand. I can’t carry you, darling, I need you to do this for me.”

Hux pulled one of Kylo’s arms over his shoulder and got some leverage. He stood, pulling Kylo up with him. It took a couple tries, but finally Kylo got his feet under him, swaying and leaning on Hux. He was biting down hard on his lip, breathing heavily through his nose. Trying to be strong, for Hux.

“Oh, love,” Hux whispered against his cheek. “I know it must hurt. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay. I’ve got you now.”

Kylo released his breath with a choked sob, nodding a little, head hanging down so that his hair covered his face. He sniffled and mumbled something that might have been _thank you_. Hux gave his waist a gentle squeeze.

“Come on. Let’s try walking, the car isn’t far.”

Kylo didn’t answer, but he let Hux help him take wobbly steps back out towards the street.

“Good,” Hux praised as they walked, “so good, you’re doing so good. The car will be nice and warm. I’ll take you back and get you cleaned up. It will all be okay.”

Hux got him to the car and into the passenger seat. When he didn’t move to buckle himself, Hux did it for him. Before he got into the driver’s seat, he pulled a blanket out of the back seat and draped it over Kylo.

He drove back, fingers gripping the wheel so tightly they were numb by the time they arrived. Suddenly he understood the urge Kylo sometimes had to lash out and break and destroy. He wasn’t strong in the way Kylo was, but just then he felt like he could have put his fist through something. Never in his life had he felt so much all at once: despair, fear, _fury_. But the strongest feeling was his concern for Kylo, and that alone kept him from snapping.

Hux helped him into the motel room and to the bed, locked and bolted the door and pushed a chair in front of it for good measure. He didn’t think they’d see or hear from Brendol or his hired men again but he didn’t want to take any chances.

He turned back to Kylo, who was sitting at the end of the bed, hunched forward with one arm around his stomach. His eyes were open but stared off at nothing. Hux had never seen him like this and it was somehow more unnerving than the blood dripping down his face.

Several memories came to him then. The time when Hux got sick and Kylo made him tea and soup and put up with his grumbling and kissed him even when he was disgusting. The time when Hux twisted his ankle while hiking and Kylo carried him piggyback the rest of the way. Every time Hux had fallen asleep somewhere he shouldn’t have and woken up tucked safely into bed or buckled into the passenger seat.

And still he thought Hux might choose his unloving father over him. Still he said _I’m sorry_ when the men Brendol had hired took him away to use him as a punching bag and leave him in the rain.

Again, Hux thought he might be sick. Again, he forced himself to keep it together. Years of practiced self-control paid off for once.

He stood in front of Kylo and cupped his face in one hand, tilting it up until their eyes met.

“I’m going to take care of you,” he told him firmly. “If you need something, you tell me. Okay?”

Kylo stared at him for a moment like he wasn’t real, and then nodded and pressed his cheek into Hux’s hand.

Hux turned on the TV, hoping they’d both find comfort in the background noise. He managed to coax Kylo into the shower, though he had to lean against the wall to stay standing. Hux stripped him and washed him and felt a fresh wave of rage as he watched the bloodied water spiral down the drain.

To his relief, Kylo seemed a little more aware after the shower, his eyes clearer and his movements less like he was dragging himself through sludge. Hux got him to lie back on the bed so he could look him over.

In addition to his bruised face, Kylo’s body was a patchwork of blooming bruises and small scrapes and cuts. Some on his arms and legs but most of them on his torso, the worst of all around his stomach and ribs. Hux felt his stomach turn at the thought of them taking turns kicking him. He desperately hoped something wasn’t broken.

“I tried to get away. I wanted to get back to you,” Kylo mumbled, making Hux snap out of his thoughts. “There were too many of them. I’m sorry…”

“ _Stop it_ ,” Hux snapped, and then immediately covered his face with his hands and groaned. “Sorry, sorry darling, this isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I’m the one who wanted to meet with him. I should have known nothing good could come of it.”

He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trembling with the weight of all he was feeling.

Hands tugged on his elbows until he lowered one arm, then the other. Kylo was gazing up at him sadly. Hux took Kylo’s hands in his and pressed a kiss to each one. It was then that he noticed harsh red marks around his wrists from the metal cuffs.

Kylo followed his gaze. A strange, hollow smile crossed his face before falling away.

“Karma’s a bitch, right?” he mumbled, and Hux’s stomach lurched.

“Don’t say that,” he begged, “don’t you dare, Kylo. This isn’t anything like that.” He gripped Kylo’s hands tightly and pressed their foreheads together. It was all wrong.

“Babe?” Kylo asked softly after a moment. “Can I put clothes on now?” He was shivering, even though the room was warm.

“What? Oh. Shit, sorry.” Hux pulled away and pulled himself together. “Yes. In just a minute.”

He treated what he could of Kylo’s injuries, gave him some medicine for the pain and a bag of ice to press to his face, and then helped him put on warm clothes and socks. He offered to make him something to eat, but Kylo said he wasn’t hungry, just tired. Hux made him drink some hot chocolate anyway.

Lying beside him in bed, Hux stared at Kylo, willing him to do something, anything that he normally would. To yawn and stretch like a cat and give Hux sleepy kisses and pull him in close. He only squirmed until he managed to find a comfortable position, lying on his back with his arms across his stomach like he was still protecting himself.

Outside the drizzle picked up into a full-on rain again. It was well past midnight. Hux was still wound up, shaken, buzzing, certain he’d never fall asleep tonight.

He took Kylo into his arms and pulled him against his chest, letting Kylo turn his head to tuck his face against his neck. One of his hands moved to loosely grip Hux’s t-shirt, which was, as usual, actually Kylo’s. Though he didn’t have the same broadness or the warmth to offer, Hux tried his best to wrap around Kylo. To make him feel safe.

“Get some rest, love,” he whispered into his hair. Kylo was already half asleep.

Hux lay awake in the dark, curled protectively around his boy. He felt his resolve harden, the wild, loose fury inside of him molding into a sharpened weapon. Eventually he fell asleep with one thought running on a loop through his mind.

_Brendol Hux will pay for this._

Early the next morning he slipped outside quietly while Kylo slept on, and he made a call.


	5. Chapter 5

Three weeks later they arrived in California.

Hux drove. Kylo was better, but he’d still been weak at times, or drowsy from medicine, and for a while his eye had been too swollen to see properly out of, so Hux did most of the driving.

They hadn’t planned past the meeting with Brendol. Hux kept them at the motel in Colorado for several days after the terrible meeting, fearful they’d be discovered but knowing Kylo needed time to rest before they hit the road again. Then, once they did, Hux took it upon himself to take Kylo to the west coast.

They’d spent the tentative first month of their relationship making their way down California together and both loved it, especially Kylo. It was far, far away from Brendol, and Hux hoped the good memories would cheer his lover up.

Where before Hux had made most decisions, planning their routes and stops, and Kylo implemented them by driving and finding hotels, now Hux did nearly all of it, insisting that Kylo take it easy. And alarmingly, Kylo obeyed. The ordeal had shaken something within him, doused his fire. Hux was determined to get it back.

Over the weeks he came back to himself, little by little, coaxed out by Hux’s persistent love and care. Being a caretaker didn’t quite come naturally to Hux, but after the first few days it became second nature. It was more than worth the effort to see Kylo heal and smile more often with each day that passed.

“I have a surprise for you,” Hux told him as they drove.

Kylo looked up from fiddling with the radio dials to find a clear station.

“Yeah? What is it?”

Hux smiled. “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

Kylo groaned. “You can’t do that! Tell me you have a surprise and then not tell me what it is. You’re a tease.”

He was smiling. Hux couldn’t help but smile too. He reached over and rubbed Kylo’s leg.

“Don’t worry. You’ll like it.”

Hux took them on a scenic route, occasionally glancing over at Kylo. He was leaning with his arm propped on the edge of the open window, eyes closed as he took in the sun and fresh air, the wind whipping his hair around. It would be a tangled mess later. Hux looked forward to fixing it for him.

When Hux pulled the car into the parking lot of where they’d be staying, Kylo sat up, looking around curiously. He pushed his hair back with one hand, wincing when his fingers caught in the knots.

“Are we lost?”

“No. This is our hotel.”

Kylo turned to him, skeptical.

“Hux, we can’t afford this.”

“I decided we can.”

They very, very rarely dipped into Hux’s savings, only in emergencies and only ever at Hux’s discretion. When Kylo realized that was what he meant, his eyes widened.

“Babe, no, you can’t – “

“I can and I will. In fact, I already did. We’re booked and there’s a nonrefundable deposit, so you’re going to relax and enjoy yourself.” He put the car in park and reached across to take Kylo’s stunned face in his hands and kiss him. “Besides. We’re celebrating.”

Kylo’s brow pinched, trying to think of some occasion. Hux’s birthday was in November and his in March, and they weren’t near their anniversary or any holidays.

“Celebrating what?”

“You’ll see.”

They got out of the car and pulled their bags from the trunk.

The place wasn’t a hotel so much as a resort, complete with a spa, a wine cellar, a garden, two restaurants and a small movie theater. As they walked to the receptionist, Kylo looked around with childlike awe that made Hux feel some of the wrongness that had lingered like a heavy fog around them those past weeks start to finally dissipate.

“Is this going to be like the fancy restaurant again?” Kylo whispered. “This place is so nice…”

“Everyone here is too wrapped up in their own vacations to worry about us. Besides, I wanted to be somewhere nice for the surprise.”

“Wait. _This_ isn’t the surprise?”

Hux grinned mischievously. “No.”

Kylo stood there gaping at him while he checked them in and got their room keys.

It was worth every penny spent to watch Kylo sprawl luxuriously across the crisp white sheets of the king sized bed, to listen to him rave about the water pressure of the shower and the softness of the towels, to see the tension ease from his face and body in the room’s hot tub.

They spent the afternoon exploring the resort. When it was time for dinner Hux took his hand and led him back to their room, where he ordered them room service. With that done, he turned and tugged on Kylo’s shirt.

“Off.”

Kylo raised an eyebrow. “Really? Right before dinner?” he purred.

Hux rolled his eyes, bunching the bottom of Kylo’s shirt in his hands so he could tug it over his head. “Later. I want to look you over.”

The lighter bruises had gone and the ones that remained, the worst of them, had faded down to a sickly yellow color. Kylo sobered the moment Hux’s eyes landed on them, eyes downcast. He knew they upset Hux to look at, and so he’d taken to roaming around shirtless much less than usual, which was a tragedy in and of itself.

Hux eased him back onto the bed and pulled out the soothing balm he’d been using on them. It smelled good, it seemed to help and it gave him an excuse to touch Kylo all over. Kylo lay back and closed his eyes and let Hux dote on him, gentle strokes of fingers over skin and quiet, reassuring words. By the time he was finished, Kylo had dozed off.

Hux woke him by playing with his hair, alternating between scratches at his scalp and little tugs. “Dinner is here. And then the surprise.”

The warm, drowsy smile that greeted him in response made his heart flutter. Before Kylo he’d never known he could feel this way for someone at all, let alone this much. And now that he had, he was hooked.

They ate in bed. They ate so much they thought they couldn’t eat another bite, and then somehow managed to squeeze in dessert. As an extra treat, Hux had bought a bottle of wine. He opened it and poured them each some.

Kylo held his up glass. “To…” he thought briefly. “To letting the past die,” he said quietly, sad but resolute.

Hux let a little smile play on his lips only for a moment before clinking his glass against Kylo’s and adding, “To killing it ourselves.”

Kylo gave him an odd look but Hux was busy putting back the glass in one gulp. Then he set it aside, pecked Kylo on the cheek, and climbed out of the bed. He stepped out for only a moment, to put the trays in the hall to be taken away, before returning to the bed to let Kylo pull him in and burrow against him.

Full and content, Kylo lay with his head on Hux’s stomach, Hux running fingers through his hair with one hand while he used the other to turn on the TV.

“The surprise is…the six o’clock news?” Kylo deadpanned.

“Patience, love,” Hux said, and Kylo quieted, nuzzling into Hux’s belly in pleased response to the endearment. Hux set down the remote and devoted both hands to the stroking of Kylo’s unfairly soft hair.

Three stories in, an image of a familiar face appeared on the screen beside the speaking newscaster. Kylo tensed immediately and then sat up, leaning forward, now fully attentive.

_“Thursday afternoon, First Order CEO Brendol Hux was arrested on multiple charges of embezzlement and fraud.”_

The reporter went on to detail the charges, which included lying on tax forms and reallocating charity proceeds to his business. She spoke of the impending investigation and of the people who would be running the company in his absence. There was even a brief mention of Hux, the CEO’s son who hadn’t been seen in over a year, who many speculated had abandoned his role as Brendol’s successor.

Video footage played of Brendol being led down the front steps of his building into a waiting car, a crowd gathering from all sides on the sidewalk, news crews front and center snapping photos and shouting questions.

The story ended and the reporter moved on to the next one. Hux lifted the remote again and pressed mute. And then he waited.

Slowly Kylo turned to him, looking stunned.

“I don’t get it. How did you know he – “

When he caught Hux’s look of cold satisfaction, understanding slowly dawned on him.

“ _You_ did this. Somehow.” He tilted his head. “Didn’t you?”

“Yes.” Hux finally let a smile spread across his face, wide and devilish.

“ _How?_ ”

“I worked for him since I was sixteen, I was being groomed to take over for him one day,” he said bitterly. “I lived in his home. I _know things_. All it took was a few calls to the right people.”

Kylo stared and stared, still not fully comprehending.

Hux lifted his hand, cupping Kylo’s jaw and brushing his thumb across his full bottom lip, where a healing scar still lingered.

“My father has done many terrible things in his life,” Hux said quietly, looking right into Kylo’s deep brown eyes. “But he crossed the line when he hurt you.”

Those eyes widened, that lip trembled. Kylo let out a shaky breath, staring at Hux with the sort of awe usually reserved for starry skies and natural wonders.

Finally, he found his voice. “You’re…you’re…”

Hux grinned. “Out of my mind?”

“…you’re _fucking amazing_.”

The delighted laugh never quite made it out of Hux’s mouth, as it was immediately covered with Kylo’s own in a searing kiss. He tasted like wine and the mango sorbet they’d had for dessert.

Kylo moved fluidly, straddling him and sliding big warm hands up under his shirt, gripping his waist. He kissed and kissed and kissed him, forceful presses and pulls of lips and swipes of a clever tongue, until Hux was flushed and breathless, arms looped around Kylo’s neck.

And when Kylo pulled back and looked him in the eye once more, there it was. The fire.

Kylo was still gazing at him reverently. He pressed a sweet little kiss to the tip of Hux’s nose, endearingly chaste after the previous onslaught.

And then, with that crooked, roguish grin that Hux had missed _so very much_ , Kylo began insistently tugging at Hux’s pajama bottoms. Hux raised his eyebrows but lifted his hips enough to allow Kylo to strip them and his briefs off.

When Hux reached down to remove his borrowed t-shirt, Kylo stopped his hands.

“No,” he said, voice low, making Hux shiver. “Leave that on. I like when you wear it.”

Hux bit his lip and nodded. Kylo slid his hands under the shirt again, smoothing them up Hux’s torso, brushing thumbs over his nipples in teasing circles before moving back down again to settle on his waist. Hux shivered and sighed.

He lazily lifted one foot to prod at Kylo’s boxers. “You. Off.”

With a smirk Kylo obliged, stripping down so quickly he got tangled in his tank top and Hux, laughing breathily, had to help him free of it. As soon as they tossed it aside he pounced, pinning Hux down again, looming over him with hands on either side of his head. His dark hair was disheveled and his eyes were lust-filled. Hux felt like a second helping of dessert for him to devour.

Kylo leaned over the side of the bed to dig through his duffel bag, one hand still on Hux’s waist. When he sat back up, he had their half-empty bottle of lube in his hand. Hux lifted his hips in anticipation.

He prepared Hux infuriatingly slowly, until Hux was squirming and gasping and cursing at him, _hurry the fuck up already_. Kylo often did this, claiming to love the way it drove Hux crazy, how he fell apart in Kylo’s hands, how he begged, and that was partly true. But also he was loath to the idea of causing Hux discomfort. Though Hux complained every time, he not-so-secretly loved the care and attention.

Finally Kylo slid inside him, taking his time so he could watch every minute expression cross Hux’s face. His hands gripped Hux’s hips, thumbs stroking up and down his soft stomach. Hux wrapped his legs around him, encouraging.

“ _There_. That’s it,” he breathed.

Kylo paused, letting Hux adjust until Hux gave another insistent squeeze with his legs and a jerk of his hips and a look that somehow said both _just fuck me already_ and _you could stay there all night if you wanted._

So Kylo began to move. At first Hux was content to lie back against the pillows, arms sprawled above his head, feeling safe in Kylo’s hands. The t-shirt was rucked up to his ribs from Kylo’s hands grabbing at him. Kylo made slow, steady rolls of his hips, eyes locked with Hux’s.

The only lights in the room were the TV to one side and a single bedside lamp to the other; they bathed Kylo in splashes of bright blue and warm yellow, tinting his skin like a watercolor. Kylo’s hair fell silky and loose into his face, smelling like the hotel’s rose shampoo. The only sounds were Hux’s soft moans and Kylo’s low, panting breaths. It was heaven, and Hux felt like a pampered god.

Then Kylo’s thrusts picked up pace. The t-shirt collar began to slip down Hux’s shoulder, leaving a curve of exposed skin for Kylo to dip his face into and suck at Hux’s neck. Hux instinctively wrapped his arms around his shoulders, keeping him close. Kylo shifted, adjusting them for a better angle, lips and teeth still moving eagerly over Hux’s skin. The marks would last for days. Hux would wear them with pride.

Without the weight of Kylo’s gaze on him, pleasure and warmth coursing through him head to toe, Hux’s walls crashed down. He clung to Kylo, digging his fingers into his back.

“ _My darling, my love, so gorgeous and strong, and so good to me, so, so good_ ,” he babbled softly into Kylo’s hair.

Kylo muffled a groan into his shoulder at the praise and moved faster, breaths shaky against Hux’s neck.

Hux squeezed him tighter, but loosened his grip when he accidentally pressed into a healing bruise and Kylo flinched. Hux soothed over it apologetically with light strokes of his fingers and kissed aimlessly at the side of Kylo’s head.

“The only one allowed to put marks on this body is me,” he whispered, clutching at him possessively. The image he’d never be able to forget, of Kylo bloodied in the rain, flashed unbidden through his mind, and he focused on tracing a pattern of moles on Kylo’s back until it went away.

He felt Kylo’s nod of agreement against his neck. Hux chuckled. Then, a well-placed thrust made him toss his head back and groan, pushing away all thoughts that weren’t of them here and now, together.

Soon Kylo began to tremble, close to the edge. Hux felt like he could come any minute now, but he wanted more.

“Touch me,” he commanded softly, lips brushing Kylo’s ear.

Kylo didn’t tease, didn’t hesitate, only wrapped an arm around Hux’s back and the hand of the other around Hux’s by now painfully hard cock. His hands were so big and warm; Hux felt like they were made just for touching him.

Kylo tried to stroke in time with his thrusts, but his motions grew erratic and sloppy as he neared completion. His mouth lingered on Hux’s neck, but he seemed to have forgotten to keep kissing and nibbling at it.

Hux was lost in a sea of sensations: Kylo inside him, the strong arm around him, the hand on his cock, the hot, wet breaths against his neck, the cling of Kylo’s shirt to his sweaty skin, Kylo’s hair soft against his cheek, the combined warmth of their bodies.

They finished together, cries muffled into each other’s shoulders, Kylo curled over him, Hux’s fingers digging into his back once more.

Hux flopped back onto the pillows, breathing heavily. Overheated, he peeled the t-shirt off as Kylo eased out of him. Kylo moved to roll to the side, but Hux stopped him with a hand on the back of his neck. He gently tugged him down to rest his head on Hux’s chest, cheek pressed over Hux’s rapidly beating heart. He draped his arms over him. _Stay_.

Hux closed his eyes, sated, drowsy, content in the knowledge that Kylo was safe in his arms. That Brendol couldn’t hurt them anymore.

Kylo’s breaths puffed softly across Hux’s chest as they slowed and evened out. He was heavy and limp atop Hux, eyes closed. Hux buried a hand in his sweaty hair and gave it a gentle tug.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep before we clean up,” he muttered, feeling dangerously close to dozing off himself.

“Mmph,” Kylo protested, rubbing his cheek against him. He gave a big yawn. One of his hands was curled around Hux’s thigh like a child holding onto a stuffed toy.

Hux endeavored to keep them both awake by alternating between light scratches against Kylo’s scalp and combing his fingers through his tangled hair.

They lay in comfortable silence. Relaxed. Together.

“Kylo?”

“Yeah babe?”

“Where to next?”

They’d spent so much of the past couple months dealing with Brendol’s interference in their lives that they’d neglected to plot their own course. There was so much left to do and see, and now they were even more untethered. Any lingering thoughts Hux may have had of returning to his old life one day evaporated the moment he watched Kylo being dragged away from him.

Kylo hummed and propped his chin on Hux’s chest, looking as sweet and pleased as their first time together.

With a little grunt of effort, Kylo moved up so that he could rest his head next to Hux’s on the pillow, their faces inches apart. He moved his hand up and down Hux’s side, looking at him contemplatively while Hux traced his fingers along the curve of Kylo’s jaw.

And then Kylo smiled, warm eyes scrunching up. It was the first time he’d looked fully _himself_ in weeks. Hux’s anxious heart finally calmed at the sight.

“Where to? That’s easy,” Kylo said. He touched their foreheads together. “Anywhere you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging out with me on this spontaneous roadtrip of a fic-writing experience. <3 Thanks to everyone who read all the parts or just this one, who left kudos or comments or both.
> 
> For now, this is it for this series, but who's to say I might not get inspired by something somewhere down the line?? Either way, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> The (now updated!) playlist for this AU is [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLR9kWELFoJELYJRzrwPziFDD8QDvtdQxM). :)
> 
> ALSO, Eastmava, who is as kind as she is talented, wrote a gorgeous fic in this verse which you can read [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13483404). <3
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr](http://obsessions-and-dreams.tumblr.com/)!


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